Second Ayahuasca Ceremony (Sex, Drugs, Love)

I’m glad

you made it to this article. Recently I’ve had a life changing experience with Ayahuasca and other medicine like Rapé and Sananga. Since I joined two ceremonies there was way too much information to put into one article. Therefore I posted two separate trip reports. Click here for my first trip report:

This article is about my second ceremony which really overwhelmed me. I thought I knew what this Ayahuasca experience was about after my first ceremony so I thought I was prepared for it. OOOOO BOYYYY I WAS WRONGGGG! Before I get into the Ayahuasca journey I want to talk about the Sananga and Rapé that I took roughly half an hour before the Ayahuasca was served.

Rapé:

I stood up, walked to the shaman and sat in front of him so he could administer the Rapé into my nose which I wasn’t looking forward to at all because it’s so intense and uncomfortable. Normally I don’t have any difficulties with severe physical discomfort. The trick is just not to identify with the discomfort: watch how it comes, stays for a while and then leaves. However, I was really exhausted from the ceremony from the night before (I didn’t sleep at all) so my willingness to go through a lot of discomfort again was very low. Anyway, I gathered enough courage to put one end of the hollow bamboo stick into my nose so the shaman could blow the sacred tobacco and ash in my nose. OOOooo sooooo uncomfortable, and it really hits you. You feel disoriented and lightheaded but when it subsides you feel so much mental clarity. Surprisingly enough I didn’t have to vomit this time.

At this point my willpower was very low. I felt like I had pushed myself through enough discomfort but I still hadn’t had the Sananga. Sananga is a sacred eyedrop that’s made from the roots and bark of a sacred Amazonian shrub which makes you feel like your eyeballs are on fire for over 15 minutes. Some people around me were already laying down on their back with their eyes open so the Sananga could be administered. I haven’t seen people going through so much fucking pain a lot so it really made me reluctant to take it. I was honestly too afraid of the pain to take it but luckily I have a special technique to ignore fear and do whatever the fuck it is that I’m afraid off. You simply don’t think about doing it and push yourself to do it. If you start thinking about it for a few seconds you’ll convince yourself not to do it. Just say yes immediately and regret it later if you end up in a hospital. So the first second when the drops hit my eyes I didn’t feel anything. I was surprised and relieved at the same time. BUT THEN… MAAAAMAAA MIAAAAAA HOLYYYY COWWWW. My eyes were on fire and I started rolling around and screaming like a bitch. It really made me feel alive and I was so glad that I had gathered the courage to do it. If you want to know what these medicines are for just click here:

Sananga:

So finally it was time for the Ayahuasca. Again we did a few rituals and shared our intention for this ceremony. This time the shaman used another bottle of Ayahuasca which apparently was slightly (as in slightly extremely) more potent than the brew from the day before. So I laid down and roughly 20 minutes after taking it the shaman asked us to stand up so we could sing the initiation songs together. As far as I remember I was the only person unable to stand up. Extremely intense visual hallucinations were overwhelming me. The visuals were at least as intense as when I had smoked DMT which basically paralyses your physical body because otherwise it will be too much to handle. So imagine, you’re having the most impossible 7th dimensional hallucinations you can possibly have and a shaman is telling you to stand up and sing. This come up was more intense than being launched in a space shuttle times 81. Anyway, I knew I had to go to the bathroom and ignore the shaman. Imagine being in this alien DMT space, having to navigate your physical vessel to the bathroom downstairs, not vomit and convince yourself you’re not going to die all at the same time. I really like adventure but this was something else. So somehow my body made it to the bathroom and that’s where the real shit begun. Literally though. I was having an extremely hard time breathing, my body was making extremely uncontrolled movements, the visuals got so intense up to the point where I wasn’t aware of this third dimensional fabric of space anymore and it felt like a demon was coming out of my butthole. It might be hard to imagine what I mean but it almost felt as if a living entity came out of me and it was resisting very hard. Nothing really came out of me besides normal ‘excrement’, but intuitively I felt like I was getting rid of a lot of parasites. Not visible parasites but micro organismic parasites. I’m not asking you to make sense of all of this but I’m just sharing my honest experience. At this point I honestly thought I couldn’t handle the situation anymore and I remembered what the shaman told us to do when everything gets too intense. He told us to literally ask the spirit of the Ayahuasca to slow down and be more gentle, so that’s what I desperately did. “Please mother ayahuasca, be more gentle with me, a little more gentle..” And that’s what happened. It slowed down from being 23 times too much to handle to 22,6 times too much.

Ughhh…. So fucking intense. Anyway, after a while of shitting out my entire guts I managed to go upstairs again and I tried to find my mattress while everyone was still fanatically singing while holding hands in a circle. I fell down on my mattress horizontally and covered at least 3 other mattresses as well being unable to correct myself. I was tripping hard as fuck but it became slightly more bearable as some minutes passed.

When a space shuttle is launched a lot of energy is released but once it passes through the earth’s atmosphere there is silence. This is kind of what happened to me, the most intense part was over and I managed to lay in my own bed and find peace within. This is where the magic happened. Again I’m not asking you to understand what I’m saying or to believe it, this is just what I experienced. I was getting visions about why I incarnated in this time and place and what my soul mission was. The last year I was becoming more and more aware that all of us carry some message or song in our hearts and the purpose is to simply sing it. To radiate that of which you’re so abundant. Your heart is so full of it that it simply overflows, no effort on your accord, it simply has to happen. However as we incarnate into this physical reality we forget everything and we are bombarded with distractions (which isn’t a bad or serious thing). For most of us it’s hard to dig deep to our core and discover that which we came here for.

You might ask “How did you discover what you came here for”? Well it started with following intuition. Intuition is your guide. I was heavily programmed by society my entire life to live from the brains and turn off the heart. Basically to cherish reason, science and knowledge and neglect feeling, spirituality and wisdom. So that’s what I did my entire life until I had such an intense intuitive urge to quit high school a few months before my exams. My mind was all like “Bro you can’t quit after 6 years, you’ll end up being a miserable slave working your entire life for less than 1500 a month.”, but my gut feeling was urging me so hard to just quit even though I had no idea what to do next. That was the first time in my life when I could hear my heart through the chatter of the mind. All of this I saw in crystal clear visions from the Ayahuasca and I saw how I was trusting my feeling more and more. The more I followed my intuition the more I aligned with my soul purpose and the more synchronicities started to happen. I started seeing 11:11 everywhere! Anyway, too much personal stuff. Let’s go on to the next vision.

What the ayahuasca showed me next was about eros. Eros in greek means the romantic form of love that exists between two individuals. Normally we take for granted that this type of love is what we should seek. We are taught to look for another human being, ideally from the opposite sex, to bond with and to be monogamous with. The plant explained to me that we only feel the urge to seek outside ourselves to compromise the feeling of unwholeness/emptiness inside us. When one feels whole again one doesn’t seek any of this romance anymore and won’t fall in love anymore in the general sense of the word. Hence we FALL in love, we don’t say to RISE in love. I’m not saying whole people won’t have a monogamous relationship ever anymore but it will have different roots. It will be more like a deep friendship than romance. I’m not judging any form of love whatsoever, all I’m sharing is what the Ayahuasca showed me.

What happened next was very miraculous! All the work you do, or should I say is done to you by the medicine, happens on another plane of existence. Some people refer to this as the astral plane or etheric plane. I’m not so much bothered with the words but it’s basically a higher dimension free from the limitations of matter in which your etheric body exists. I had never had any experience with this but during the trip I could see everything very clearly. The plant showed me that every time when you have sex with someone you're exchanging energies on an etheric level and this leaves an energetic imprint on both etheric bodies. Most of the time both individuals are influenced negatively because of their own disturbed energy fields/auras. DNA also gets information from the etheric body and that’s why sex can lock or unlock certain DNA. I had visions of everyone who I had sex with in my life and the medicine was cleansing all these stored energetic imprints. The same goes for drugs. The last few years I’ve experimented a lot with psychedelic drugs and I honestly thought they were completely harmless because most psychedelics have an extremely low neurotoxicity. This basically means that the ratio between the lethal dose and the active dose ranges from a few hundred to even a few thousand. Simply said, you need for instance a thousand times the active dose of LSD to kill yourself. However on an energetic level it does fuck with you even though it’s physically harmless. All of these energetic disturbances were cleansed as well.

I know some of this might be hard to understand and some people may ridicule me for saying these kinds of things but it really is all about honest self expression. I feel that I need to be honest no matter how weird some things might appear to be.

After all these visions I took my second dose of Ayahuasca which cleansed my even more physically. I had to vomit a few more times and the intensity became less and less. I felt reborn and in perfect equilibrium for the rest of the journey. This medicine will always have a special place in my heart. I can honestly say that this was the most profound and life changing experience I’ve ever had.

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